Here are fi ve examples of descriptive writing (Extracts 1 to 5). Read the passages carefully and answer the questions that follow. All of these passages are taken from books written in the last years or so (the earliest was published in ). Extracts 1 and 2 describe very hot days in the countryside This candidate's response to this Writing to Describe task is a very competent one that uses a number of descriptive techniques in order to convey the strong imagery of a fictional beach. There is a wide range of linguistic techniques used, including simile, metaphor and personification, though in some parts the impact is lost due to a poor understanding of the needs for commas (comma splice e · For example, ‘My eyes wept from the wind, without sadness, the tears quickly drying but no less pained.’. The line also contains a subtle hint of irony, the association between tears being linked to sadness. However, in this case it is the harshness of nature that is bringing about the shedding of blogger.comted Reading Time: 7 mins
Descriptive Writing A-Level Example: The Mountain - Scrbbly Blog
This is a piece completed recently by one of my students for the Cambridge CIE A-Level English exam Paper 2: Writing. The piece attained a B grade, but it has great potential and with a bit of work could have achieved an A. I asked the student to write feedback below to give a sense of the grade, as well as suggested improvements for how to attain a higher descriptive writing examples gcse next time.
Thanks for reading! If you find this page useful, you can take a look at our full Basic Descriptive Writing course ; Advanced Descriptive Writing courseand other English Language and Literature courses. Write a descriptive piece called The Mountain. In your writing, create a sense of atmosphere, and focus on colors and sounds to help your reader imagine the scene. It had been a long hard trek across the sludgy path, my footfalls producing rhythmic squelches.
A warm pitiful breath escaped my mouth and struggled against the unrelenting breeze. My eyes wept from the wind, without sadness, the tears quickly drying but no less pained. I had managed to stray unwittingly from the path. My mind blank, I had chanced upon a vast expanse of open land. Vaguely, I recalled how I had got there, how I awoke in perspiration merely hours earlier, my T-shirt soaked descriptive writing examples gcse. When I eventually peeled myself off the bed, it was then the idea had taken root, to venture out for a spirited walk.
Grabbing my staff and closing the door after me, I walked on mechanically, descriptive writing examples gcse, permitting the crisp air to enter my lungs and liven my descriptive writing examples gcse. For a long time, descriptive writing examples gcse, I gazed listlessly at my traipsing feet, neglecting to survey the path ahead. Soon, when I glanced up, I had drunk in the formidable sight of a tall mountain stood gargantuan in the distance.
The sky, slate grey and heavy, bore the promise of rain. I was Ill-dressed and ill-prepared, yet a dogged stubbornness coursed through my every fibre. I firmly decided I would task myself to climb it.
I forged onward like a weary soldier, going into battle for the very first time. As I neared the foot of the mountain, such was its mass I could no longer see sky.
Pausing at the base of it, I noticed that the wind had abated somewhat, and I felt a brief flash of renewed confidence. Glancing up its steep face my eyes scanned the wild, rocky terrain, peppered with tufts of grass and high reeds.
No discernible path appeared to etch through it, which led me to believe that nobody of sound mind would be foolish enough to scale it, nobody as foolish as me at least. Warding off the temptation to turn back, I placed my trusty staff before me and carefully distributed my weight across the unstable ground. With no visible path to speak of I lunged forward and begun to climb, praising each successfully placed step as I slowly advanced. Reaching roughly a meter high, I felt the first cool drop of rain blotch my forehead.
It caused me to glance up instantly at the sky with trepidation, but before I would be greeted by an onslaught descriptive writing examples gcse raindrops, I decided to forge on undeterred.
A violent rush of wind suddenly rose beneath me, descriptive writing examples gcse, causing the hood of my coat to blow clean over my head. Maybe it was descriptive writing examples gcse sign, I thought. But I did my best to not entertain such thoughts. Instead, my mind was cast back to the days of my youth. Descriptive writing examples gcse recollected the numerous occasions I had ventured into the woods with my older brother, descriptive writing examples gcse.
Together we would seek out the tallest climbable tree. He would goad and pressure me to reach the furthest branch no matter the risk of danger, his voice always close behind, providing a safety net in case I fell. I never did, but where was his voice now? When the rain came, it had been roughly an hour since I last looked down. The terrain had gotten steeper, so much so that my staff was rendered useless and left me all but hugging onto the slope for dear life.
There were times when I froze, clutching myself to the earth, breathing in mud and stone, feeling as though I had tasted time itself. The rain came down in sheets, muddying the very soil my hands struggled to claw into as I ascended, descriptive writing examples gcse.
Why had I bothered? I asked myself. There are two examples in this passage where the language draws visual depictions. The use of compound adjectives through the hyphen also enhances the intensity of the visual image. An underlying sense of foreboding runs consistently throughout the passage and there is a distinct atmosphere enveloping the language that is earthy and rich. Much of this is derived from the descriptive writing examples gcse scene description, which places the descriptive writing examples gcse directly into the mood and atmosphere of the text.
This is portrayed in the depiction of physical hardship, endured by the protagonist. However, in this case descriptive writing examples gcse is the harshness of nature that is bringing about the shedding of tears.
These linguistic techniques of tying nature to feeling, exist to immerse the reader within the voice and tone of the text. The narrative is strictly told in first-person through the featured protagonist and unfolds in past-tense.
While a majority of events are described in a continuous stream of action, there are two moments where the action shifts to a series of flashbacks. Mark scheme used, descriptive writing examples gcse. Overall, I believed the last 2 sentences could have been more refined, descriptive writing examples gcse, more poignant, and expressive.
The story at this point ends rather abruptly in comparison to the rest, which demonstrates better fluency and reads more elegantly. There is much intrigue and suspense to be enjoyed, which in turn engages the reader, descriptive writing examples gcse. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly.
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iGCSE First Language English - Writing to Describe Coursework (TOP TIPS!)
, time: 19:54Descriptive language - Literary techniques - GCSE English Language Revision - Other - BBC Bitesize
Example (s): When he laughed, he revealed a set of horribly discoloured teeth. Everybody stared at her. She had beautiful dark hair piled high on her head, a delicately shaped face, large soft eyes Estimated Reading Time: 4 mins · Gcse descriptive writing examples Watch. Announcements Additional assessment materials have been released - more info here >> Join our A-level study groups here for help with your revision and assessment >> start new discussion reply. Page 1 of 1. Go to first unread This candidate's response to this Writing to Describe task is a very competent one that uses a number of descriptive techniques in order to convey the strong imagery of a fictional beach. There is a wide range of linguistic techniques used, including simile, metaphor and personification, though in some parts the impact is lost due to a poor understanding of the needs for commas (comma splice e
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